He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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