U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
