remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
