It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
