i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
How's work?
Spinning.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
