So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
