Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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