Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
