Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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