you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
