Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize