the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
