I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
