it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
