Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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