i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
