I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
