I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
