the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
