Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
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