just come out here and I will go home with you...
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
