Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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