Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
