Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
