Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize