Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
In America we eat man semen.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
