Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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