Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
