I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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