You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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