I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
