real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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