C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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