My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
