just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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