i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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