Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
