ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize