My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
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