I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
