problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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