And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
