For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
