She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
too bad you live with your parents still
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize