we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I could make wine with my vomit
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
