pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
