I never want to see another naked old woman again.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
