There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
sarcasm needs its own font
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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