i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
