i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I want a musical about memes.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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