She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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