i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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