hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
