If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
