I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
