you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
