Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
