I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
