I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
