He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
