oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
