garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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