check it out our google latitudes are spooning
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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