At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
