I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
they're like a gay fantastic four
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
