how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
