don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
