I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
