I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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