I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
