Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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