Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
