i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
