I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
