My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
